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God's Presence During the Transition of Seasons

The holidays are usually a time filled with happiness and cheer. But what happens when everyone seems so wrapped up in themselves that they don't have time to even think about you? For me, I got angry, flustered, frustrated and hurt. Last night I talked to my mom and found out that our entire Christmas Eve and Christmas rituals have changed because my parents are spending them working on my sister's house. I found out that one of aunt's is hosting the tamale making this Saturday instead of on Christmas Eve like we've always done. Then to make it even sweeter she's not hosting it at her house, everyone is going to be at my parents house. I'm not even going to get into how selfish that is to me because I might not be able to stop myself. The cherry on top to this news was when I realized I was hearing this Thursday evening, two days before the function, and when my mom told me that my aunt sent an e-mail out that I never got. Then I found out that my dad's side of the family is changing our yearly Christmas dinner and cake to an 11 a.m. session in Pasadena, CA. This automatically created conflict inside me because I hardly get to see my dad's side of the family and I really do look forward to those dinners. To make matters worse, my mom's side always does pan dulce (sweet bread), champurado, hot chocolate, waffles, pancakes... BREAKFAST and gifts in the morning; and this year it's going to be at my parents house. Honestly, I raved, ranted and complained for a while before sitting down and realizing that something my dad suggested to my husband is coming true. A few months ago when we broke the news to my parents that we were going to be moving to Colorado my dad suggested to my husband that I should stay away from the family this holiday so I can get a "taste" of what Colorado is going to be like. At the time, I was enraged at the implication that I was unable to be without my family. When the first talk of moving to another country or state came up I felt this fear of being away from my family. But more importantly, away from my younger cousins. Most of them on my mom's side have grown up seeing me on almost a daily and weekly basis and now they aren't going to be able to see me at all. That choked me up for a while. But what got me past it was that my husband and I are our own family and the main reason this move even got into our heads is because we are preparing for a family! We've been wanting to get pregnant since we got married and it hasn't happened yet so we know that there are things we need to improve and change in our lives before we're ready to bring a life into the world. Back to my dad. My second thought was to give him a taste of what he wanted but not in a submissive way, in a challenging way. And I could feel in my heart that my intentions were bad so I didn't pull away and stay away from the family like he suggested. However, over the past couple of months my husband and I have been planning and researching for the move and have noticed we've spent less time with my family. Now I hear this information and after I calmed down I could feel the Lord pulling on my heart. I knew this was His work. My dad might have been right but My Father in Heaven is doing the pulling, not me. My family isn't the one causing the breaking away.. God is. Furthermore, in this way my husband and I are given the ball in the playing field of family connection. Since we won't be seeing everybody for the last two, big holidays before we leave to Colorado I feel it's on us to make an honest attempt to contact, communicate and hopefully meet up with the family we didn't get to see and pray that the effort is returned. The Lord truly is alive in our lives during this season and although the atmosphere might be feeling cold... I feel warmth from where He burns in my soul!!

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